Thursday 30 May 2013

Why am I Alive?

Sitting alone, I saw a woman suffering in pain because of her disease. I sat by her bedside for days at length, holding her hand & praying to God to bless her with good health again.

Then one day, she passed away.

I am aware that death is the most inevitable aspect of our lives. But if ultimately it is death that I have to brace, then why live at all. What’s the point? One fine day, it will all be over. No people around me, no food clothing shelter problems, no finances to manage, no health problems to address, no relationships to manage, no need of taking care, no coxing, no pampering of people who make it a point to do the exact opposite of what I want.

In a way, I would say ‘WOW!!! WHAT FREEDOM!!!’.  Suddenly death sounds like a much better idea than being alive. In that case why the hell am I still alive and kicking?

I gave this a thought & these are Top 5 reasons that come to my mind about Why I am alive:

What is Good? What is Bad? (Part III : People)


Last week during a discussion in chandrapur to start an alcohol de-addiction program under the 'Volunteer for a Better India (VBI)’ campaign, a simple looking housewife came forth aggressively against alcoholism. I was surprised at the emotional reaction of this erstwhile quiet woman.

This lady later asked for a private audience and broke into tears after sharing that her life was miserable because of her alcoholic husband and father-in-law. She was extremely worried about the future of her children & by joining the VBI de-addiction drive she was hopeful that she would be able to help others even though there was little she could do for her own family.

The above incident led to me think: ‘People’ play a very important role in our lives: can’t live with them, can’t live without them.

Forget the generation gaps, the cultural differences, language & religion based barriers, leave aside the moral, political, social & ethical policing. From our limited bunch of ‘every day people’ (i.e. my milkman, housemaid, friends, family, co-workers, acquaintance’s etc) who gets labeled as a good person and who’s Bad?

It is known and very often experienced that acts, words & thoughts of my ‘everyday people’ is a cause for trigger of either pleasantness or an unpleasantness in me. Have you noticed this yet?

Like in the above-mentioned case, the presence of alcohol addicts in her own personal life, triggered emotions that made the lady's participation more active than that of others in the group.

Given that ‘People’ cause an emotional trigger:

Thumb Rule #3: 
“Every Individual who triggers a good feeling in me gets labeled as a good person; Every person who becomes a cause of a shrinking feeling in me gets labeled as a unpleasant person.”

Thursday 23 May 2013

CAUTION: God at Work

I met someone recently, who had to give up work he was extremely passionate about & had to settle down for managing a shop owned by his father. This would not have been an easy choice to make!!

People share that they are into a job they are not happy about; Their hearts desire would be to travel around the world or to paint or run their own business & they feel stuck being in a job without any appreciation.


Sometimes, we are lucky enough to get opportunities that help fulfill our hearts desire & also meet our family’s duty calls & help attain financial sustainability.


The difficulty arises when one a choice has to be made between what my heart wants and what my head commands. Invariably it is the head that wins and we land up finding ourselves in places where we donot want to be.



This reminds me of a story I have heard about a great Maratha King who faced a similar predicament.



Once the King went to his Guru & said “I am so tired of war & all these conspiracies. I want peace but this appears to be a farfetched dream. I want to bring a positive transformation in the lives of people around me, but all my time is spent in war. I am tired, want to leave all this & go to the jungles & meditate. I want to find my inner peace.”


Thursday 9 May 2013

What is Good? What is Bad? (Part II : Situations)


Last week's post started a discussion on what is good and bad relating to objects and people.

This week's post is a narration of What it is we categorise as Good or Bad in relation to situations?

Thumb Rule #2: ‘Everything is good or bad depending on the situations I am faced with now in comparison to situations faced in the past.’

Here is a short story to explain the 2nd Thumb Rule mentioned above:

Once a King traveled in a ship with a minister, few soldiers & civilians. In the middle of the ocean the ship was rocked by a storm. One of the soldiers started crying vehemently. He did not know how to swim & was very scared that he would drown.

The worried King called on his minister & said ‘It is the duty of every soldier to protect civilians. If a soldier cries in fear, this will spread panic amongst others on board. Do something to quieten this soldier”.

The minister called on 2 other soldiers & asked them to throw the crying soldier into the ocean. On being thrown into the splashing waves, the soldier started screaming even more. 

After a couple of minutes the minister asked his soldiers to bring up the crying soldier on the ship again.

On coming back into the safety of the boat, the crying soldier became absolutely quiet & sat in a corner like a mouse.

The King watched in amazement at the happenings & the resultant quiet. He called the minister & asked ‘Why is the soldier so quiet now?” The minister replied ‘Your Lordship, sitting on the safe deck of our ship, he is quiet because he knows, we can change his situation for the worst”.

This is how we respond to our current situations: Our responses depend on the situations faced with in the immediate past.

When we complain, God throws us into an ocean of deeper problems and then we complain more. God then brings us back to our original challenging situation & we suddenly become grateful for where we stand, because now we know ‘It can become much worse than this’!

Message for the week:

When the mind is comparing current situations to what was or what could have been, then there is compliant and non-acceptance for the way situations are presently.

When we bring ourselves to be grateful for all things we have, this takes our attention towards positivity, helps make constructive decisions and improves the quality of our lives. There is nothing wrong in wanting to improve a current situation; However, acceptance for the current situation(whether it is good or bad) ensures that we donot remain stuck in the same place and makes it easier for us to move on. 


If you are in an (supposedly) bad situation, know it can and will change.
If you are in a good situation, know it can get even better. Know you deserve the best.

This week:
Every night before going to sleep: Make a list of 5 things you are grateful for, count all the positive things you have now. 

Watch out this space next week for Thumb Rule #3 : What is Good? What is Bad?

Thursday 2 May 2013

What is Good? What is Bad?


What is it that we categorize as Good or as Bad? What is it that helps decide?

Truth is undoubtedly multi-dimensional. What is right for one can possibly be wrong for another?

Last week, when I taught a program, I was assisted by 23 teachers & volunteers. Under exactly the same situation, in the same program, after receiving the same set of instructions: Each individuals' response was different. Each person's participation & level of acceptance for a given challenge varied.


Is it possible to have a permanent theorem that can declare a universal law about objects eg: whether chocolates are good or bad? or about Who is a Good or Bad person? Or What is a right or wrong situation?

Past one week’s events led me to think on these above mentioned questions & and my probable conclusion comes in the form of few thumb rules:

Thumb Rule #1: ‘Everything is good or bad depending on the refinement of my own mind’

Here are few examples about this first point mentioned above:

What is a Good or Bad object:
  • If I am a child, my love for chocolates leads me to believe that sweets are good for me.
  • If I am diabetic, I tell myself chocolates and sweets are bad for me. 
  • If I am a normal healthy human being, the choice for chocolates depends on my taste buds. I can also probably be indifferent towards sweets.

Let us take a look at Good and Bad situations:
Is this a good situation or a bad one? 
  • If my mind is weak, a challenging situation will make me cry & make me want to run away.
  • If I have a strong mind, I will see a challenging situation as an opportunity to upgrade my skills.
  • If I am an indifferent person, a challenging situation is not my business till the fire actually reaches my own doorstep and then thanks to my non-action, the fire might actually burn down my house.
Good and Bad people:
Is he an Angel or a Devil?
  • If I am suffering from a inferiority complex, the presence of a confident person would make me feel uncomfortable, insulted about my incapabilities & pulled down.
  • If I am a good learner, presence of a confident person is a good opportunity to gain knowledge.
  • If I am proud of my capabilities, the confident person might appear to be rude & disrespectful.

This Week:

Identify one object or situation or person that we have categorized as either good or bad! Know that it is our own state of mind that created this category. 


Every situation we see as bad today, would change depending on second Thumb Rule.


Watch out this space for Thumb Rule #2 next Thursday…